How many times have you found yourself in that situation where you’re part of a new group and the person leading the discussion decides to go around the room and have each participant introduce themselves to the rest of the group? You know, the ol’ “Who are you and where do you come from?” type of session. There’s the guy who gives the facts… “Hi, I’m John, and I’m from Scranton, Ohio.” Then there’s the timid ones that would most likely rather take a bath in hot tar than speak in front of a group. Their face red, they mutter an almost inaudible response and take a deep breath once their turn has passed. Last, and without fail, there’s always the one that can’t wait to tell everyone who they are, where they’re from, their life story, and anything else that provides insight into just how amazing they are. To each their own, the introductions are made and then it’s down to business.
It’s funny, I’ve never given this much thought until recently as I continue to dive deeper into all things “me” and unpack all that it is that makes me who I am. As I’ve been a part of countless groups, especially for work meetings and conventions, I’ve seen more than my fair share of these roundtable introductions, yet I’m a bit cloudy as to what I typically say when introducing myself. For the most part, being that they are typically tied to business, I guess I just tell the group my name, where I live, and what I do for the company I work for. So, that being said, I am Brad Martin, I’m from Liberty Hill, Texas, and I’m an Operations Manager.
Yep, that’s me… right? Truth be told, I don’t even know.
I made a commitment for the New Year to focus heavily on gaining a deeper knowledge and understanding of The Stoic Philosophy. For those of you that are unfamiliar, it’s the writings and meditations of Marcus Aurelius, Seneca, Zeno, and Epictetus, just to name a few, and it flourished during Ancient Greek and Roman times. Simply put, it’s purpose is to provide clarity of the mind, and to hone one’s virtues of character. Don’t worry, I’m not going to bore you with the details, but it lends itself heavily to today’s discussion.
I came across a paragraph the other day that I have been unable to forget ever since as it continues to occupy my mind. Basically, it asked the question “Who are you?” and asked it from the Stoic point of view. The modern day author and interpreter went on to explain that most, even with a gun to their head, would struggle to answer this question that, at least at first thought, seems incredibly simple. It has left me so incredibly perplexed that I even struggle to write about it today. I mean, it’s simple, right? Who we are? What we stand for? Apparently not.
What is it that makes us “us”? What defines us as people? Let’s wade through some of the shallower waters and talk through some potential answers.
Let’s start with our families. Our Mothers, Fathers, Spouses, Children, and so on… are they what define us? Although they undoubtedly contribute to who we are on many levels, do they truly define us? After all, they are them and you are you, am I right? I don’t recall anyone ever introducing themselves as someone else… can you? Let’s move on…
Perhaps it’s our careers that define us. I know what you’re going to say… definitely not, right? Well, I know a whole lot of people that sure act like their career defines them. I myself have been guilty of this for far too many years. Even though there are so many words of advice that do their very best to steer people clear of the traps of an all-consuming career, the modern era offers limitless temptations that can so quickly pull us into those traps. Just as a family does, a career has tremendous value, but does it define us?
I know… our hobbies! Yeah, maybe it’s our hobbies, our passion projects, our “true callings” that define us. As I stated above, I know a whole lot of people who seem to be defined by their career, but I also know a few others who have managed to avoid that trap. They indeed have a career, but at the end of the day, it’s just their job in their eyes. It’s something that they do well that simply pays the bills. However, when they’re not at work, you’ll find them at a local music venue, playing in a band. You’ll find them traveling the world, hiking and camping in the mountains, or cooking up some of the most delicious foods imaginable as they find true passion and peace in their hobbies. Is this what defines them? In my case, when I’m not working at my day job, you’ll find me working on our farm and writing these newsletters along with my travel blog. Is that what defines me? Am I a farmer? A writer? I don’t know.
Getting frustrated yet? Ha, I know, it’ll get your wheels turning for sure. For some, this might not be a tough question at all, but I have a feeling that most people today would truly struggle with the question “Who are you?”.
From here, it’s into deeper waters we’d go, but I’m not going to bring y’all along for that. No, we’ll stay here in the shallow water and splash around as we play with these thoughts for a bit. For me, I know I’ll need to get really deep if I intend to find out who I am, and I will. I encourage each of you to go as deep as you need to as well as I think this question is possibly of the greatest importance when it comes to our own journeys to be the best version of ourselves imaginable.
The hardest part for me is going to be filtering the “pollution” or “corruption” from my mind. After all, the point is to find your purpose and, in turn, live a purpose driven life, something that will surely come with sacrifice. Yes, you’ll find yourself at many forks in the road as you surrender the meaningless and harmful things that come with offerings of emptiness. There is great discipline required in being relentless to the things that don’t matter, and saying no to all that comes in the from of a distraction, but I have found more and more peace in my life since I’ve adopted this approach to all that stands to pollute or corrupt my mind, and I have no doubt you’ll experience the same. It is definitely easier said than done, but it will start to come more and more naturally with each “no” that leaves your mouth.
Although I realize that I’ve come to you today with nothing but question after question, I know that answers are out there, for all of us. The answers will differ for each of us, and there should be great acceptance in that fact. There are no right and wrong answers as what makes us “us” is unique to us as individuals. Our purpose is ours and ours alone, just be careful to avoid any external influences that may intend to alter your purpose.
I recently listened to a podcast interview with Jewel, the grammy-nominated singer and songwriter, and she had a profound answer to who she is and what defines her. At an early age, she made the decision to be a ‘whole” human being rather than a human being full of “holes” and she put this purpose above all else, even her career as a musician. If you ask her, she is not a musician… she’s just “her”. This has given her great clarity of who she is and what she stands for. It’s allowed her to be a great mom, and she now advocates for mental health in children. She never allowed her music career to pollute or corrupt her, and easily sacrificed continued fame and stardom in order to maintain her purpose driven life. I was floored when I heard her speak to this. The thought of being “whole” is such an uncomfortable feeling to me because, quite frankly, I have no idea what that feels like. But, you know what? It sure sounds nice, and I am determined to find out how it feels for myself.
I hope this has sparked something inside each of you today, just as it has in me. Whether you find your answers in the shallow end, or you dive to the deepest depths of your soul, I look forward to revisiting this as we go around the room… and introduce ourselves.