I ran across this quote the other day and it gave me a much needed reminder and offered a moment of pause and reflection. I grabbed a screenshot of it and went about my day, but the message has been stuck with me, on many levels, ever since.
As it is abundantly clear by now to all who know me and/or read these newsletters each week, I’ve spent the better part of 2023 dedicated to transforming myself and elevating into the highest version of existence that I can possibly imagine. It’s been quite the journey, and the road ahead is unending, but I wouldn’t trade the experience so far for anything. It’s also safe to say that nothing will deter me in my continued quest for more as each day brings new discovery and a deeper sense of purpose.
One of the most unexpected yet profound elements of this journey has been the deep dive into my own mortality. This is something that I have avoided at all cost for my entire life. Even the slightest passing thought of death used to send me into a downward spiral of anxiety and denial. It was almost as if I thought death wouldn’t come for me if I simply just didn’t think about it. Well my friends, as the saying goes, death comes for us all.
Before you opt out of reading any further, let me assure you that there is a bright light that awaits in this message, so bear with me for a minute…
It’s true, ya know? Another popular saying is that death is the only guarantee in life. It is the only certainty that we all share and yet so many of us run from this fact like we’re in the hottest game of tag on our grade school playground. Although I wish I would have learned this sooner, I have discovered the beauty of coming to terms with my own mortality. Yes, the beauty of it; you read that correctly.
In addition to the wonderful quote in the image above, we all know the countless others that speak to mortality. There’s simply too many to list. No matter how you spin it, it all boils down to the same basic points… Live your life to the fullest, live in the present moment, and don’t wait to live the life that you want to live. Chase your dreams, find your purpose, and most of all, be happy.
Sounds simple, huh? Then why are we seeing record numbers involving depression and suicide? Why does the mainstream media thrive on reports of bad news and horrific events that we all can’t seem to get enough of? Why is every conversation at every bar, coffee shop, and dinner table across America filled with fear and uncertainty?
To me, especially as I dive deeper and deeper into myself, the answer is quite clear.
We all think we’re going to live forever.
Go ahead, laugh all you want. I know it’s an absurd statement, but it has to be the answer. Sure, we’re all intelligent enough to know that we won’t live forever, but the majority of us sure don’t act like it.
Think about it… Better yet, take a look at yourself for a moment…
How many of your dreams have you abandoned in favor of so called “stability”? How often do you find yourself reminiscing over the days of your past as you long to feel the passion and conviction that you once based your entire existence upon? How many times a week do you find yourself saying “one day” or “wouldn’t that be nice” as you stoke the fading embers of your deepest desires?
You don’t have to answer; I already know what you’ll say. It’s okay, you’re a member of a big club. Heck, I’m a member as well. Like I said, the road ahead in my journey is unending and I’ll be working on myself until death comes knocking at my door, whenever that may be.
Since childhood, I’ve played percussion and guitar. It was always a constant in my life and it provided daily peace and reward as I would tell myself that there will never come a day that I don’t play music in some capacity. Ha. Those guitars of mine? I honestly can’t remember the last time I picked one up. They are serving as excellent dust collectors these days. And drumming? It’s been so long since I played any sort of percussion that I often fear the day that I discover how much of this God-given talent that I have lost. Music used to be my life. Read that again… my LIFE. No matter how I earned a living at the time and no matter what I was going through, music was at the very core of who I was and how I found solace, inspiration, and expressed myself, yet I set it down and walked away from it. Drawing, painting, and sculpting were no different. I’ve got mountains of old sketchbooks and portfolio pieces, but it’s been even longer since I created anything artistic. It’s simply another major part of who I was that got left by the wayside as I pursued something as secondary as a career.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not here to tell you to abandoned your career. After all, we all have to make a living and there’s something to be said about one’s contribution, no matter how big or small, to a particular trade or industry. But for most of us, our careers shouldn’t define us. Granted, if your life’s work is dedicated to nature conservancy or ridding the world’s oceans of toxic waste, then it’s a safe bet that your career does indeed define you, but even then, you have a life outside of your work, or at least you should. Time and time again, we trade our passions and desires for security and the status quo.
Well, as the title suggests, Life Won’t Wait.
Life isn’t going to wait for us as we stay in our comfort zone and keep adding our dreams to the “someday” category. Life isn’t going to turn over a new page and offer you a second chance and it most certainly isn’t going to rearrange itself to accommodate your hesitancy. You’re either on board or you’re not, there’s zero gray areas here.
As there have been multiple studies done on the last thoughts of the dying, do you know what the top five regrets of the dying are? Take a look…
1) I wish I’d had the courage to live a life.
2) I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
3) I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
4) I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
5) I wish I had let myself be happier.
These top five answers are from many in-depth studies that offer a sobering collective insight to those who are facing the end of their lives. This brings chills to my spine each and every time I read it. I’ve talked so much in these newsletters about how life is a gift. A GIFT. Who are we to take such a gift and look back on it with regret? We should look back on it with absolute gratitude and with a sense of complete fulfillment, but never with regret.
Okay, here’s where the beauty comes into play…
Death doesn’t have a schedule, at least not one that we will ever have access to as that is up to the divine, whatever you may perceive that to be. We have all lost ones that we love way too soon. It is an incredibly painful reality, but it must be accepted as none of us know when that day will come for us. This right here is where the beauty lies.
Confused? Let me explain…
The inevitable fact that death can come at any given moment is the sole factor that should drive us in our quest to live a life of purpose. It should serve as a daily reminder that life is indeed a gift and it has to be treated as such. We cannot live in fear of death rather we must appreciate its finality as it offers us the motivation to pursue life on our terms, knowing that we will face it one day with a smile on our face as we reflect on a life well lived.
None of it is fair. Not life, and certainly not death. However, there is a clear difference between the two as we get to decide how we live our lives. Let death come as it must; we have no say in the matter, but we call the shots on this side of the coin.
We all hope to live long, fulfilled lives, and we should. I know I do. I’m a big fan of all that this life has to offer but I have fallen extremely short when it comes to how I’ve chosen to shape my life. That ends today.
I’m going to continue on the mission to find myself again. Slowly but surely, I’m digging through all of the rubble and debris and exposing more and more of who I truly am as I rekindle the relationship with me. Next, I’ll repurpose that rubble and debris as I build upon who I am at my core. I will build a structure, impenetrable by fear, doubt, or the negative opinions of others, and it will stand tall for the world to see. The doors will remain open, welcoming all that life has to offer to come and go as it pleases, as it fills every room and wanders every hall.
As the great Stoic Philosopher Marcus Aurelius once said… “Death smiles at us all, all a man can do is smile back.” I will do the very same as I wave, knowing that death will one day have its way with me. This will serve as my daily reminder to cherish the life that I have been gifted as I shower each moment with gratitude.
I encourage you all to visit these thoughts as they pertain to your lives. I’m not going to sugarcoat it and say that it’s the most comfortable frame of mind to be in, but let me reassure you that great beauty lies within as you recenter your sense of true purpose and chart a course into open and unknown waters. Have unwavering faith in yourself and let that faith be your guide as you revel in every sunrise, grateful for each one that is gifted to you.