I’ve wanted to talk about this phrase above for quite some time now as it has offered life-altering changes within me from the moment I heard it.
I was reading a book that is geared towards organizational flow in the workspace earlier this year. I know, an exciting read, huh? I’ll admit, it was tough to get through as it was more like reading an instructional manual, which struggled to keep my attention. I got through it, though, and there were many takeaways that have contributed to me being more organized and efficient at work and at home.
However, there was one paragraph that hit me like a crashing wave.
The author spent a brief moment talking about having a “Mind Like Water”. For some of you, this may be a familiar saying as it is prevalent in the martial arts community and how it relates to centering yourself mentally in order to execute efficiently in the physical sense.
For those that are unfamiliar, having a mind like water relates to how we react mentally to the endless onslaught of events and emotions that life throws our way each and every day.
Imagine you’re standing at the shore of your favorite lake on a calm, still morning. The water emulates a sheet of glass. On the surface, it appears undisturbed. You bend down, grab a pebble, and throw it into the lake.
What happens? Does the water splash violently, soaking you from head to toe? Maybe nothing happens at all and the water remains undisturbed? Well we all know that neither are true.
The small pebble merely creates a ripple effect, traveling from the point of contact outward in a circular pattern. After a few moments, the water returns to its glass-like state.
The water reacts appropriately to the pebble, just as it would if a large boulder was dropped from the sky as that would then cause a more violent reaction, but appropriately so.
Our minds should do the same. In the never-ending quest for mental strength and clarity, a mind like water holds the key as it allows our mind to react appropriately to any given situation. Granted, this is obviously much easier said than done, but for me, this concept has carved a path into a once seemingly insurmountable mountain top.
Think about this… Let’s say you’re working away at your desk and your boss approaches you and asks the status of a report he’s expecting from you soon. What’s your reaction? Do you explode into a verbal onslaught of profanities as you flip your desk on it’s back? No, of course not. If you do, you might want to switch to decaf ;). The appropriate reaction, assuming the expected timeline is reasonable, is to simply answer, “I’ll have it to you by the end of the day.” as you return to your work.
Now, let’s say that you just got home from an exhausting day, you’re stressed about your financial situation, and you struggle to keep your wits about you as you prepare to spend the evening with your family, being as pleasant and as present as possible for them. You walk in the door and immediately notice that your spouse has a distraught and worried look on her face. Her phone in her hand, she tells you that she just got word that a beloved mutual friend has passed away. This was a close friend that was a mainstay in your daily life, and the death was unexpected and tragic. How do you react now? Do you simply shrug your shoulders and say, “Oh well; what’s for dinner?” as you head to the bedroom to change clothes? Not unless you’re dead inside. No, given the current stressors in your life and now the fact that you’ve just lost one of your closest friends, you break down. You lose it. You’re shaking and sobbing as you embrace your spouse. What little energy you had is drained right out of you as you enter the beginning stage of the mourning process. It’s an extreme reaction, but an appropriate one.
Now let’s look at this through the lens of daily life in general. Good news, bad news, happy times, sad times, and everything in between. As you reflect on all that life throws your way on a given day, can you sit there and say that you always react appropriately? I can’t. Unfortunately, I can recall so many moments, even from this past week where we were at the beach and having fun, where I overreacted. It’s also safe to say that I often under-react by shrugging off something that may mean a lot to another, but not as much to me so I react according to my perception rather than theirs.
Reacting appropriately is definitely doable, no matter how intense your life is, but it’s hard. Extremely hard.
Imagine you walk the shoreline of that same favorite lake and follow it all the way to the stream that feeds it, creating the lake that you adore so much. Next, start finding and stacking large rocks into that stream. At first, as you place the first rock or two, what happens? The water comes to a screeching halt, right? The rocks have presented an obstacle that the water just can’t figure out how to work around so it gives up, correct? No, that would be an inappropriate reaction. Instead, although that rock has disturbed the initial flow of the stream, the water has simply changed course and now flows around the rock. Keep stacking the rocks to the point where they form a small dam. Now what happens? This time, the water does stop, but not for long. Instead of giving up and stopping for good, the water rises. It rises up until it reaches the point where it can spill over and flow freely again. During its rise, it also find cracks and voids in the stack of rocks and begins to seep through them. These cracks and voids offer a reminder to the water that, as it continues its rise that will take some time and determination, opportunity does indeed exist on the other side. Those opportunities such as a sense of growth and accomplishment, the ability to pick up where it left off as it continues down the stream, and the newfound discoveries that the shift in course has presented, can all be attributed to the resiliency of the water itself. Sure, the different stages of building the dam required different and appropriate reactions, but it never broke the determination to make it to the other side. After all, there’s life on the other side of that dam that need that water to flourish and survive.
The same goes for us. We can’t let even the worst obstacle prevent us from continuing our journey. Instead, we must find the new path that these obstacles present, and forge ahead with an unbreakable sense of resiliency. Let those obstacles stack up if they must. Let them build a wall 100 feet tall if that’s what life has in store for you at the moment. Just keep rising. You’ll eventually either spill over the top, or your constant momentum will cause the wall to collapse and give way to your determination to move on with your life. Don’t ever let an obstacle stop you. They’re there for a reason, I promise you. Just as the Stoic Philosophy will suggest… The Obstacle is the Way.
Rise above. Find the new path. Never quit.