Shedding Skin

Shedding Skin

A while back, I was cleaning out one of our outbuildings to make way for a new buildout within its walls.  For years, it had been used for storage but at some point along the way, a small group of chickens decided to also make it their home.  I fought hard to evict them but it became one of those ‘choose your battles’ topics and I eventually gave in.  

What became of this is what I now refer to the Chicken Hilton, a large coop that I built in order to reclaim that outbuilding.  The chickens were relocated to their fancy new digs and, let me tell you, they left me with quite the mess… I knew I should have gotten a security deposit from them ;).  A couple of weekends later, I had my outbuilding back and all was right with the world again.

During the clean out process, the main event was going through all of the boxes and sorting the contents into three categories…

1) Pack in new boxes and relocate to dry storage.

2) Trash or Donate

3) “Hey, I’ve been looking for this!”

There were many items that fell under category 3 and the rest were sorted otherwise, but there was one box that held a special surprise, just for me… A snakeskin.  Ah yes, my favorite reptile.  Oh how I love snakes.  They’re just so cute and cuddly, am I right?

I’ve said it here before and I’ll say it again… I don’t do snakes, and the fact that one was, at some point in time, living in one of our buildings is enough to send chills down my spine and buckle my knees.  So, what did I do?  I did what any logical person would do… I lit the place on fire and put a for sale sign out by the road.

No, I’m kidding, but I’ll tell you that every box from then on out was opened as if I was diffusing a bomb.  I stood ready to scream like a girl and run out of that building yelling “everybody get down!” as my family looked and laughed.

I was reminded of this moment simply due to the subject matter of today’s newsletter.  As the title aptly suggests, I’m shedding some skin of my own.

On New Year’s Eve, an announcement was made.  It came via Instagram, from an account named Latchless Podcast.  The account was created by a lifelong and very dear friend of mine and the picture that accompanied the announcement was of her and I.  It was the official announcement of our podcast, a venture we’d been brainstorming for quite some time.  It was exciting to see the official start to this new venture, but it was also the start of a ticking clock… A countdown to episode one.

What’s happened since then?

Nothing.

That’s right, absolutely nothing.  As excited as we both have been to get this thing off the ground, there’s been no movement other than some tentative recording dates that have all been cancelled due to various circumstances.  After all, we’re both busy with everything else that our lives require of us.  Family, work, travel, illness, and everything in between have taken priority over finally sitting down and pressing the record button.  All of this has been mutually understandable between the two of us, but I realized something yesterday that has now completely occupied my thoughts.

Okay, here I am, doing it again… Sugarcoating the inevitable truth.  This ‘realization’ didn’t come to me yesterday.  It’s long been with me yet I’ve been trying to package it any other way but as the truth…

I’m scared to do this.

Let’s go back in time for a minute as I introduce you to a much different version of myself… As a young boy, and then a teenager, I was incorrigibly independent and fiercely determined.  My three core hobbies were playing music (drums and guitar), skateboarding, and art.  Not much else mattered to me.  I was forging my own path in accordance with my desires and nothing was going to get in my way.  This made for some tumultuous years with my family, but as much as they didn’t understand me at the time, they didn’t try and change me and I am eternally grateful for it.

I wasn’t scared to try anything.  A new song on the drums or guitar?  Heck yeah, watch me learn it.  A new skateboard trick?  I’ll fall a hundred times but I’ll get it, just you watch.  Art?  Whether it was a still life drawing or something that simply came from the depths of my mind, I’ll put it out there for the world to see.

I pushed myself to learn, each time jumping off of a cliff into the unknown.  There was uncertainty at every step, but it never stopped me from taking chance after chance with absolute certainty that I’d make it… and I did.

A few years pass and I’m now standing in a young man’s shoes.  I’m on my own, and I’m just starting to pursue a career in welding and fabrication.  I remember my first job as an ironworker.  I had just finished the interview, and they hired me on the spot.  As I was walking out the door, the interviewer stopped me and said “Oh, I almost forgot… Are you afraid of heights?”  “Not at all.” I replied.  I was lying through my teeth.  My fear of heights is right up there with snakes, but it didn’t stop me.  I pushed forward and I’ve spent many days since atop heights that I wouldn’t have ever dreamed of reaching.  My relentless determination followed me into the business world as I’ve started two different companies and grown each of them to impressive heights.  I remember the exact moments that I decided to embark on each of these ventures.  There was nothing more than one treacherous obstacle after another ahead, but I forged ahead without hesitation due to an immovable belief in myself, knowing that I can accomplish anything.  Granted, they both ended in failure, but the education that came with those failures have been priceless, and I don’t regret a single moment.

Now, back to the present.  Here I sit, writing a confession to you all that I’m scared to sit down and talk, all while being recorded.  My, how things have changed, huh?  As I’ve talked about the dark times in my life here many times before, those painful years added many layers of hardened scales to my skin as if it were a safe, protective cocoon.  I’ve taken refuge inside, and you’ll be hard pressed to see me taking even the slightest of risks these days.  If you were to look at my life on a timeline, you’d see a sudden drop that leads to a demonstrable gap where not much happens at all.  Those hobbies of mine, you know, the ones that were basically the core of my existence?  I put them all down and walked away.  My fearless sense of adventure?  Gone.  My boundless determination and drive?  That person is almost unrecognizable to me these days.

I don’t want to fail.  Pretty understandable, right?  There’s a problem, though.  My definition of failure has changed.

What if I suck?

You ever asked yourself this?  Has this ever gotten in the way of you trying something new?  It’s a common fear, so I’m sure most can relate, but here’s the the thing…. we all suck.

Hey hey, take it easy.  Before you throw rotten tomatoes on the stage, let me explain.

The first time I ever picked up a guitar, I sucked.  I didn’t have a clue of how to play it, and what came out was a sound that would force every hand over every ear.  The first time I stepped on a skateboard?  Ha, it rolled out from under me and I fell flat on my back.  And we all know about our first attempts at art.  No matter how much our adoring parents looked in awe at the masterpiece that we just created, the truth is, it sucked, and that’s okay.

I bet the first iteration of the light bulb sucked.  I bet the world’s very first automobile sucked too.  I bet DaVinci, Rembrandt, and Monet all sucked at their first attempts at art.  Did that stop them?  Did Tesla and Edison give up on the concept of electric light?  Does the world still get to and from via horse and buggy?  No, the world today enjoys these modern “luxuries” and the halls of every art museum is adorned with some of the most amazing works of art that eyes have ever seen.

And here’s the absolute kicker… The reason that we have these things is because, through every trial and tribulation, as the skeptical, piercing eyes looked upon the artists and inventors of the world in complete disapproval, they kept trying.  They kept going.  They kept sucking until one day, the light stayed on, the engines ran, and the canvases became soaked with breathtaking beauty.  The critical and disapproving words fell on deaf ears, and they just. kept. going.

I do my very best to keep this newsletter PG and family friendly, but I used to have a saying.  For years, I told anyone and everyone that “I’ve got two perfectly good middle fingers for anyone who doubts or disapproves of me.”  The noise from the outside world didn’t cloud my determination to accomplish whatever the heck I wanted to.

Well, today I’m shedding my skin.  Just as a snake sheds the old to make way for new growth, so will I.  I’ll be leaving behind that safe haven that has done nothing more than stifle my soul, and I’ll reemerge to walk this world with my head held high and my sights set on greatness.  And you know what?  I’m going to suck.  Yes, along the way, I will most certainly fall flat on my face as I attempt something new.  It’s a requirement for those who wish to achieve their goals.  A right of passage, so to speak.

I’m happy to report that, as of this afternoon, we’re finally recording episode one of the podcast and, in all likelihood, it’s going to suck.  Maybe not in the “oh my gosh I can’t even listen to one minute of this” sense, but when we look back on it, say after episode 50, we’ll realize that we had no idea what we were doing, as we cringe just a bit.  We’ll laugh about it, though.  Why?  Because we kept going and we now have something great on our hands.

That’s more than enough about me. I want to talk about you now.  

I want you to shed your skin as well.  I want you to stop pushing your dreams back down the list.  I want you to stop ignoring the call to try something that your heart and soul couldn’t be more intent on trying.  Stand at the edge of that cliff… and JUMP.  Get out there and suck at something new.  Be good with it.  Know that it sucked and know that you’re going to keep sucking until you get it right.  Remember, pain is progress, and there’s no fast track to becoming good at anything.  

Well, actually, there is indeed a fast track to becoming good at one thing… not trying.  Yeah, it’s pretty easy to be great at that, right out of the gate.  Well, I don’t think you want to be great at that anymore. I know I don’t.  So, on the count of three, we’re going to get out there, fall down, screw up, and look like fools, all on our paths to greatness.

Ready… Set… GO!

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