Everybody be quiet for a second… Right there… Did you notice it? That’s right, another second or two ticked by. Whether conscious of it or not, the hands of time are constantly ticking away and with each subtle movement, the present becomes the past, right before our very eyes. Throughout my life, time has been a bit of an overwhelming concept to me. The same can be said about the immense vastness of our oceans, as the thought of the seemingly endless depths have a way of inducing what I can only describe as a sense of anxiety or panic. It’s simply too much for my brain to process so it gets placed in the same category as the other great unknowns such as death and today’s topic of time.
I don’t envy time. After all, it is simply itself. It has no agenda, and it has absolutely no emotions, yet it is looked upon as a gift to some and a curse to others. It just can’t win and, just like a politician, it will never please everyone. We’ll talk a bit more about the different perceptions of time but first, I want to talk about the elephant in the room. Yeah, that big guy sitting in the corner over there… the subject of finding time.
We’ve all said it…“If I could just find the time."
As our lives become inundated with responsibilities, tasks, and schedules to keep, time sure has a way of slipping by unnoticed. With our heads down most of the time, when we do look up, we realize that another week, another month, another year has past. We vow to “do better” and find the time to focus on what really matters, yet our heads go right back down as we grind away another block of time.
Another age old saying… “Don’t blink or else you’ll miss it.” …is usually coming from the mouths of our elders as they watch their time get smaller and realize just how swept up people can get in their daily lives. They often reflect on how swept up they themselves may have been in their youth and how much time they let slip through their hands. What do we do when we hear these words? We nod in agreement and spend a sincere moment realizing that we need to do better, and then it’s right back to the grind. This phenomenon spans cultures and classes; No one seems to be immune as time doesn’t play favorites and offers favors to no one.
My schedule has gotten exponentially busier over the past year, and purposely so. I continue to take on more and more tasks and events ranging from small daily routines to traveling across the state and abroad. I’ve done this atomically (shout out to author James Clear), meaning I add small habits in manageable increments that add up to life altering habits and commitments that become second nature over time. If I were to go back in time even just one year, I’d take one look at my schedule and ask myself “Where do you find the time for all of this?” as I look in horror at all the things I have to do. My current self would answer… “I didn’t find the time, I created it.”
Let’s look at a small example first. Every morning, before I even start to even think about getting ready for the workday or even the weekend for that matter, I wash my face and brush my teeth, I do some yoga and stretching, I work out, I pray, I meditate, I read a bit, and then I do some journaling and inner reflection. Only after these tasks have been completed do I start to get ready for the day ahead. Sounds like a lot, huh? Now, let’s go back in time a year or so. My day started with me waking up, brushing my teeth, throwing on some clothes, grabbing my coffee and my things and heading out the door. I could never “find the time” to do all of the things I do nowadays as a morning routine. So how did I end up finding the time? I didn’t. I created it instead. I carved out a certain block of time that is for the sole purpose of working on myself. I don’t allow myself to use this time for anything other than this and I don’t negotiate with myself on the days that I’m not feeling up to it. The result is a morning routine that leaves me feeling ten feet tall and ready to take on the world. These days, I can’t imagine spending a morning free of these tasks. It’s an integral part of my life now, and I created the time for it.
Our endless search to find time is in vain. If we look to enrich our lives through the discovery of time, we might as well search for Jimmy Hoffa as there actually is a chance of finding him, albeit a small one. Finding time, though? Not a chance. After all, it’s not like we’re going to wake up one day to a 25 or 26 hour day. Time is what time is, and it’ll never be anything else.
Let’s say that you want to spend more time with your parents or grandparents, whether they live near or far. Hard to find the time to do so, isn’t it? I’m sure they understand. After all, you lead a busy life. You’ve got a family of your own now, right? Before we go any further, I just want to say that I loathe that saying. A family of your own? To me, all that saying does is offer an out, an excuse, to justify why we can’t take the time to visit our… you guessed it… families. Our parents, our grandparents, our aunts and uncles, and the list goes on. Now, don’t feel singled out, I’m including myself in this little scolding session.
Okay, back to my point…
That busy life of yours, does it include taking the time to eat dinner? Of course it does. What usually happens around dinner time? We take a bit of time to relax and unwind from the day. We catch up with our spouses and kids as we discuss how our days were. We might have a bit of TV or music on in the background, and then we all enjoy a meal together. Busy life or not, this is pretty common, right? Well, just as I have come to realize as of lately, why can’t we carry out that exact same scenario, but with our parents involved, or our grandparents involved? Plan a regularly scheduled dinner with them. Create that block of time. Your parents don’t live close by? Call them. Better yet, FaceTime them. Keep them on the line for an hour or so as you walk around and let them say hi to the kids, show them the drawing that your baby girl did and let them tell her how beautiful it is. Utilize the positive side of technology to be there, together. Create that block of time for them.
Am I making sense? Are we starting to see the picture a bit clearer now?
Stop talking about how you wish you could travel more and create the time to travel. Book the flight, plan the road trip, and create those itineraries. Stop wishing you had the time to play your guitar, paint a picture, or learn to speak another language. Create the time to do it. Trust me, you have the time. It’s there, I promise you.
The busier my days, weeks, and months become, I find that I now have even more time to take on other things that I’ve long neglected. I know that sounds conflicting, but it’s true. Time is ours to create, and create it we must, because if there’s one thing that we can’t create, it’s our ending. We don’t get to write our finale. That, my friends comes from a much higher power that will decide when our time ends.
This brings back up the topic of our perception of time.
For many of us, time is looked upon as cruel and unforgiving. We curse it as we watch the wrinkles come and as we feel our bodies decline. We constantly look back on time that has passed and won’t ever return, all while the time we do have at our fingertips slips away unnoticed and unused, tick after tock. We treat time as if it were an infinite source like water from a tap, our arrogance blinding us from the reality that time is much more like a rainstorm… we don’t quite know when it’ll end.
For others, time is looked upon as the most precious gift. Each passing minute, hour, or day, is met with profound gratitude. Nothing is taken for granted, and every moment is seized as an opportunity for another experience, whether it’s as thrilling as a skydive or as simple as watching another beautiful sunset. The gift of time offers an abundance of fulfillment to those who have come to terms with its fleeting nature, and this… this is where life is lived.
We can look back on time that has cast the past into concrete, unable to be changed or moved. Or, we can look forward to time that has yet to come as we wonder just what may come to be. Honestly, we should do a bit of both. The past becomes a teacher and the future holds the opportunity for change, but only in the present can time be created. Whether you have an ailment and your outlook seems grim, or you’re as healthy as a horse and a long life seems to await with open arms, the only certainty you have is the present. Now is the time to live. Now is the time to be who you want to be. Now is the time to be with those you love the most. At some point, some of those that you love will only exist in the past. How do you want to feel when you look back on their lives? Do you want to feel saddened and full of regret, wishing you would have spent more time with them? Or do you want to feel grateful for all the time you spent with them, knowing that it warmed their hearts and filled their soul?
Stop talking and start doing. Be here, and be present as you take time into your own hands and create opportunities to live the life that you want to live, not the life that time demands of you. See the big picture, too. Don’t get so wrapped up in yourself that you neglect those that yearn to see you and hear from you. Extend your arms to reach beyond the day in, day out and embrace the time that you’ve created.