Work to be Done

Work to be Done

I was laying in bed the other night when, out of nowhere, the following words came to me:

 

I will not accept the results of today,

yet I will strive for those of tomorrow.

Today, I am good.

Tomorrow, I will be better.

 

I’m not quite sure why they came to me, but I felt them to be profound enough to justify me jumping out of bed and writing them down, and they have stuck with me ever since.

The following morning, the flow started back up again as I expanded on what these words might mean to me.  It was as if I’d been caught slacking, and the teacher slapped a pop quiz on my desk as punishment for my drifting.

I can’t really say that I’ve been slacking as of lately; Plateau might be the better word.  I still have a wholesome discipline regarding my physical and mental health, and my actions have, for the most part, been those of a much more present and reasoned person.  I’m much more methodical and calculated when it comes to the temptation to act on impulse, and I have finally begun to conquer my emotions when it comes to my reactive state.  What used to be “terrible news” that would send me into a panic or tantrum is now just “news” as I have learned to assess, filter, and act upon said news appropriately rather than blowing things out of proportion in either direction.

That being said, I have indeed gotten comfortable in my routine and in these newfound achievements.

This is a problem; A big problem.  

I have a crystal clear target regarding my physical fitness goals.  It’s written on a piece of paper that hangs in the room where I work out each morning.  Slowly but surely, I have been creeping closer and closer to that goal over the past ten months.  I have two months to go until I reach it but, for the past month or so, I have not made any progress.  Granted, I haven’t regressed any, but I’ve hit a wall and I obviously haven’t done anything about it.  The workouts continue, but there are (obviously) steps that need to be taken in order to up my game and get back on the path towards my goal.

When it comes to my mental health, I have also set many goals, and I’m pleased to say that I’ve been able to achieve most, if not all of them so far.  However, just as with my physical fitness goals, the progress has come to a screeching halt.  In fact, if I’m being honest, there has been some regression on the mental health front.  

Over the course of last year, I established a list of “non-negotiables” as author and motivational guru Bedros Kulian taught me to do.  These non-negotiables have been game changers for me as they have allowed me to conquer one of my deepest flaws… giving in.  I no longer “negotiate” with myself when it comes to breaking the very promises that I made to myself in order to grow.  I don’t allow myself to miss any workouts.  I exercise seven days a week, no questions asked.  I don’t allow myself to renege on commitments I make to myself, whether it’s something simple like cleaning the kitchen for my dear wife every night or something bigger such as allowing myself to lose my temper over nonsensical events that don’t warrant an angry response.  Well, as you might’ve guessed, I’ve slipped a little as of lately.  That temper I spoke of?  Although it hasn’t become the event that it used to be (those who know me know exactly what I mean by that), I have found myself getting frustrated with things that shouldn’t phase me in the slightest, and typically haven’t since I’ve started to conquer these issues.  Just yesterday, I was digging a hole to plant one of our new Goji Berry bushes, and I found myself getting flustered, almost angry, at the amount of rock I was having to go through.  Well, first of all, rock in the soil around here is nothing new.  I have gone through countless layers of limestone out here over the years.  And second, I had a rock-breaking bar right next to me, yet I was trying to use the dang shovel to move the rock.  I brought the rock bar with me for that very reason, yet here I was, cussing this inanimate object.  I most definitely checked the “L” column of my win/lose chart for this little outburst.

Little things like this have been reintroducing themselves into my day to day endeavors as of late, and I am the sole party to blame.  Like I said, I’ve become comfortable.  Well…

I didn’t do this to find comfort.

I did not embark on this journey early last year simply to rest on my laurels a mere thirteen months later.  I made a commitment to push myself into, and through, unimaginable discomfort so that I can grow beyond my wildest dreams and become a version of myself that I can’t even imagine.  I did this to conquer my faults, my fears, my excuses, and any trauma from my past.  That word “conquer”, mind you, is by design.  When invading armies conquer a territory, they don’t grab a chair, sit back, and relax as they celebrate their victory.  No, they stand at constant guard, knowing that they will have to continue to defend their newfound territory with greater vigilance than what led them to conquer it in the first place.  For every conquered enemy, ten more stand ready to defeat them in their quest for advancement.  There is no difference between a conquering army and those on a personal mission to conquer their deepest inner enemies.  Conquer we must, and we will, but on the other side of these conquests, there’s always more work to be done.  

We are never finished becoming the highest versions of ourselves… ever.  There’s that saying that floats around in motivational circles: Pain is progress.  I think that this fact gets overlooked too often.  Sure, it sounds cool, and looks good on a t-shirt, but what so many fail to realize is that it’s 100% true.  There is no progress without pain, without sacrifice.  For years, I would find motivation in people or in sayings like this, but when it came time to put in the work, I would fall short.  “This is tough.” I’d think, and then I’d give up.  I see this happen with others all the time; We’re all familiar with it.  We get motivated and say “Tomorrow, I’m going jogging.” or “Next week, I’m joining a gym.” yet when that day or week rolls around, that motivation has seemed to have moved on.  This is the same throughout the physical and mental, personal and professional spectrums.  We must go into these commitments knowing damn well that it’s going to hurt.  And here’s where I may lose some of you… but the pain is where the motivation must lie.

Yes, you read that correctly.  The pain should be the motivation.

I have lived so much of my life, way too much of it in fact, in extreme comfort.  The world we live in today offers comfort at almost every step.  In every advertisement, in every marketing scheme, that promoted comfort promises the holy grail of it all… happiness.  Well, I can’t speak for everyone, but I can say from personal experience that, in my most comfortable times, I have been the most miserable.  No routine, no discipline, and no direction whatsoever, I have floated through life trying to find happiness in food, booze, and other people.  I avoided pain at all costs, yet little did I know it held the key the whole time.  Every morning, my workout hurts.  On the other side of that pain, though, is bliss.  The endorphin rush along with continued visible progress brings a smile to my face, every single day.  It makes me happy.  I used to eat dessert after dinner every night, but I haven’t done so in over a year.  Now, when we go out for ice cream, the family chooses their favorites and I go without, and it makes me happy, because I feel great after dinner rather than having to fight a sugar crash or a stomach ache.  When a maniac driver cuts me off, rides my tail, or otherwise, it makes me laugh at how ridiculous he or she looks.  It’s really easy to get angry at people like this yet the tougher road, the high road, as they say, is what brings the smile and the laughter.  If it sounds painful, it is, and it should be.  Embrace this fact and let that pain become your benchmark.  Then, let newfound pains become milestones as they mark the considerable progress you’ve made, but don’t stop there.  Just as milestones mark your progress on a hike through a forest, that doesn’t mean you stop and sit in the middle of your hike.  You still have to make it though the forest.  Enjoy the moment that each milestone brings, but trek onward and upward, compass in hand, and your destination in mind.

So, those words that came to me, the ones I opened with…

 

I will not accept the results of today,

yet I will strive for those of tomorrow.

Today, I am good.

Tomorrow, I will be better.

 

These words are now recited daily and they have become yet another reminder that my work on myself is not done and it never will be.  It’s like that sign that you see in certain restaurant bars: “Free Beer Tomorrow”.  There will never be any “free beer”.  You’ll show up for it tomorrow, and they’ll simply tell you to try again tomorrow ;).  The same applies to this newfound mantra… I will constantly strive for the results of tomorrow, meaning I will always yearn for more.  More pain.  More progress.  Yes, I’ll be good today.  After all, we can’t lose sight of our progress.  Acknowledge it, sure.  But be prepared to do even better tomorrow.  It’s not a vicious cycle, make no mistake.  These are stair steps, taking us higher and higher, each and every day.

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