I had a wonderful opportunity to attend a leadership conference this week and boy oh boy is my cup full. Those who know me know how strongly I feel about what it takes to be a true leader who not only inspires others, but also empowers them. This conference gave me wonderful insight as to how I can improve so that I can continue to grow as a leader but, more importantly, how I can better serve the ones that I lead.
Although the inspiration from this conference will likely result in many writings about the various attributes of leadership, I’m not here to talk about that today. Today, I have a question for you.
How full is your plate?
No, not your dinner plate. Go ahead, fill that baby up; Put the green beans on top of the mashed potatoes because there’s no room left. No judgement here ;)
The plate I’m referring to is the calendar you keep. Your workload, your daily tasks, your commitments, and your aspirations, they all reside here. What’s that you say? That last one? Aspirations? Yes, those are the goals you set for the future. They paint the picture of what you look to accomplish and who you intend to be as you continue your journey of growth and development. No room left on your plate for these? I thought you might say that. Truth is, most of us don’t have any room left because our plates are too full. Sure, there are times where we stack an aspiration or two on top of our daily commitments in life, but the daily commitments are like the chips and salsa at a Mexican restaurant; By the time our meal comes, we’re too full to eat it all. We simply don’t have the room, the time, for our goals and dreams.
I’ve been guilty of this for most of my life. I stack my plate full of commitments that consume almost every hour of every day. What little time that is left is spent being exhausted and stressed about what still remains on my plate. The worst part, and I think we can all relate to this, is that we continue to stack these commitments on our plate, each time brushing off our dreams and desires of our future to make room for “the important things”. “I’ll get to that one day.” I always say. “As soon as I accomplish X, Y, and Z, I’ll get back to working on me.”
We all do this. We all like to think that we’ll one day have the time to focus on what we desire to be. We all think a time slot will just magically appear one day and give us the bandwidth needed to work on ourselves. Our needs get pushed to the bottom of the list as the needs of others remain at the top. Well, I’m going to ask you to turn that list upside down. Go ahead, I’ll wait…
What does that list look like now? Better yet, how does it make you feel now that you are at the top? It makes you uncomfortable, doesn’t it? I know, me too, but something changed in me earlier this year. It wasn’t a particular life-changing moment or anything spectacular but, through a series of small events and experiences, I made the decision to wipe my plate clean. I didn’t abandon any of the tasks at hand, I just wiped them off and set them aside for a second. With a clean, shiny, empty plate before me, I decided to step outside of my comfort zone and walk to the other side of the buffet. This side was full of so many new choices, each looking tastier than the last. All of these new dishes contained ingredients that were unfamiliar to me. Things like self-worth, patience, gratitude, and countless other ingredients were common throughout the menu. I’d heard of these ingredients before but had never acquired the taste for them. I’d heard great things about the benefits they offer the mind, body, and spirit, but I was hesitant to try any of them as I was so accustomed to the flavors that typically filled my plate. However, I took a small bite. Do you remember the first time you tried something sweet like ice cream? Probably not but I imagine it felt a lot like what I experienced. It was new. It was different. It tasted great. I didn’t eat a lot of it, but what I did eat made me feel pretty good. I walked back to the familiar side and put some of the familiar items that I had brushed aside, back on my plate but I made a point to put a small portion or two from the new side on it as well.
Ever since then, although I’m still handling the tasks at hand, I’m on a steady diet of the good stuff as well. More importantly, the good stuff has taken priority. I guess you could say I’m eating dessert first. Remember, this wasn’t an overnight transformation and it is far from over. In fact, it’ll never be over as this requires work every single day, just as anything does in everyday life. This all started with really small bites that continue to grow into a nourishing meal. That nourishment comes from the commitment to dedicate time to focus on me, every day and without compromise. What has always seemed to be a monumental, almost insurmountable accomplishment, has become the norm.
I bet you’re wondering what I had to sacrifice in order to make room for this. The answer? Very little. In regard to the daily tasks that life requires of me? I’ve sacrificed nothing. Not adding up, you say? It’s all pretty simple. Through the decision to dedicate a window of time to me each day, I’ve become more efficient with the time I spend on everything and everyone else. Each of these new habits that now contribute to a healthier body, mind, and spirit, all add up to a better, more efficient version of me. My colleagues, my friends , and most importantly, my family all get a better version of me.
Anyway, enough about me. I’m not here to talk about me. I only share my experiences so I can communicate to anyone who needs to hear that it is not out of reach and it is NEVER too late to focus on you. Don’t be afraid to wipe your plate clean. Take a couple of laps around the buffet, don’t just head straight for the usual favorites. Broaden your palate, as they say. Now, don’t get me wrong, not everything tastes great at first. For example, waking up at 5am every day to exercise? It doesn’t taste very good, but the results are as sweet as candy. Some of these are acquired tastes, so just take small but consistent bites. Before you know it, your staring at a better, more efficient version of yourself in the mirror. And don’t just stare at it, but love it. Love you. Be you. This alone will give you a standing reservation at the table. So stack your plate, take a seat and dig in.
As an added bonus, I’ve included a recipe below. Yes, you get TWO recipes of the week this week! Let’s call this one “You a la Love”
Ingredients:
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24 hours of Positive Mental Attitude
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Constant reminders of your Self-Worth
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A healthy portion of Self-Confidence
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30 min to 1 hour of Daily Exercise
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Daily Prayer to whatever higher power that calls you
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Daily Meditation
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1 metric ton of Determination
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Many dashes of Laughter
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Lots and lots of Patience (think chocolate syrup on ice cream)
Grab your plate, and wipe it clean. Next, sort through your daily tasks, first making absolutely sure that you can eat them all, and place them on your plate. Then, take the ingredients above, and sprinkle them throughout the tasks on your plate. Last, but not least, take a big ol’ scoop of that love I was talking about and place it right in the center of it all.
There you have it, your plate for the day. It’s that easy. The daily tasks at hand (the job, the errands, the meetings), those ingredients can change from day to day. Feel free to experiment with those but, without fail, the ingredients above must make it on the plate, every single day, especially the love. If not, the dish won’t taste right, and you won’t finish it.
Bon Appétit!